Home-Theater-Design

How to turn a room into a Movie Theater.

So, you and your significant-other have decided to enter the world of Home-Theater-Design to build your very own movie theater (even if it's just a simple room with TV and speakers) to avoid the Teen Aged Zombies selling $.05 cents worth of popcorn for $4.75!

But even if you don't get out much, here's a reality-check: a snapshot of life in today's multi-multi-plex:

Zombies behind the counter shuffled in slow-mo. Where did this theater chain find so many slackers?

We went to see Mr and Mrs Smith. Loved it. Don't know who commands the screen better - and there were a TON of closeups - Jolie or Pitt. Not sure who's prettier, either.

But gee, going to the movie is becoming/has become an ordeal. And it ain't cheap, either.

We saw big signs that said "you don't have to wait in line - use the Kiosk to buy tickets inside." Since there was a line (of non believer/non reader/people with bad credit/ or folks who think Kiosk makes film in yellow boxes) we went inside to escape the 98 degree heat, and the Ticket Zombie.

The ticket machine spit out two child tickets. I probably screwed up. Terri gave me 'the look' so I have to assume I'm truly helpless. We had to then go back outside to wait in line to try to fix things. Zombie didn't know how, said it wouldn't matter. I pointed out we aren't kids. Well, my wife is, but I'm not. She said it wouldn't matter.

It didn't. Ticket Taker Zombie was locked into a chant of "first theater on your right" "third of your left."

Meanwhile Popcorn Zombies were challenged. That's the only way to say it. This place had no teen spirit. Good thing the computer calculates change. Goober with the popcorn funnel was having a hard time filling those bags.

Despite the smell - a mixture of airborne carpet and seat fiber, finely ground underfoot popcorn, body odor, must and mold, - the theater appeared clean and filled quickly while we all ignored the New Music Network or whatever it's called. We watched trivia slides... talk about low tech. One said - "Right after the show, stop by for great rates on car insurance!" I'll bet it's NEVER happened.

Then the countdown to the show - ADVERTISEMENTS - at full volume. Up all the way. BAD BAD commercials. I'd love to see the pitch meeting - I imagine hip young dudes wowing the hopelessly out of touch bald 50 year olders with their creative. "They're in touch!" says the CEO to his director of marketing.

They suck, say I.

If they even relate to the product - and that's a stretch - they don't make you want it.

They now run TV show ads. The little screen looks bad on the big screen. Desperate medium meets captive audience with native indifference.

Then another 10 minutes of previews. Lord God make it stop. So many crashes, so little time.

Why does everything have to have so much bass? Is it because the youth - big movie target audience - are all deaf now? Maybe it's supposed to be the experience you can't get at home.

Well, at home I can get all the bass I don't want, thanks. I can skip commercials (though they ARE starting to lock them into DVD intros now.) I can go to the bathroom without getting lost. Without that smell. And I'm not afraid to touch the door handle.

The only Zombie is me after that Merlot.

Well, okay, then, because the real world is so sticky, I sure do applaud your decision to build a high-tech cocoon.

But there are so many Home-Theater-Design considerations to getting it right! Frankly, after searching all over the web so you won't have to, I found that Home-Theater-Design can range quite a way from 'where do I put the tv screen' to 'how do I build the movie theater in the basement/family room/special place?' GreatHomeTheater.com's Home-Theater-Design to the rescue!

Now put down the duct tape and pay attention, because Home-Theater-Design is about to be made as clear as possible, but you'll have to pick your comfort depth. Well begun is half done. Yada yada. Mistakes early on might be hard to crrect.

Here's a hint: men, explain this as a room MAKEOVER to your wife. It might work.

Clear and specific Essentials for existing rooms and new builds.

Home-Theater-Design: Viewing Guide:

How to see the best you can see!

How to make any seat the best seat in the house!

Home theater sound – how to tame a room, and important design concepts

YOUR ROOM CAN MAKE MORE DIFFERENCE THAN YOUR SPEAKERS OR AMPLIFIER

Practical placement considerations